My family on my fathers side use drugs-I don’t
I have been clean for 3 plus years-
aunts and uncles don’t like me recovering because their own addictions stare them in the face.
I am clean.
My dad is clean. My mom is clean.
My aunts and uncles,judge, use and abuse,,,
why do I feel so sad for members of my family that are not true—-
not nice—-not honest—
suppose to be thicker than water the ties that bind–as i grow older my family is chosen====my christian friends, my spiritual friends..
these are the people who mend/
I will not be defined by the strength of the lies that the family ties have weaved around me
I will not be contained by the chains that have held me in shame from their lack of respect they show me.
Today is the day I release and relieve myself of the aunts and uncles who judge but don’t know
About 10 years ago my friend Ted acquired a bird from.an old lady who was going into the nursing home…she left her bird with him. I was at Teds house one day, as he was complaining about the bird and I begged to have her….mind you at the time I was still heavy into my drug addiction and I had no clue the responsibilty needed to care for this bird..Betty BOOP.
Needless to say for ten years I moved her from house to.house city to city.I grew attached and loved her.
In may of 2009 I was faced with a tough decision I wanted to.get clean and off drugs…my sponsor suggested moving into C.O.T.S. womens shelter in Appleton..What would I do.with Betty?
Well God has an amazing way of taking care of things, Betty went to my friend Erik who kept her for 2 1/2 years. I finally moved.into my own place april of 2012 and got Betty back home with me.
After three years she remembered my voice, still.did the tricks she did when I got her and loved me unconditionally.
May 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm.Betty passed away in my arms in the sun…I am deeply saddened she is.gone
but grateful she was with me when she passed, in my hands with me.
I dont know if she waited to die til she was safe with me but I know God has a way of taking care of me.
Rest in peace my winged friend, I miss you in the house.
I am complete. I understand my limitations, I get God loves me. In the night when I pray..when I listen…I wonder why He speaks so softly when it seems I listen to yelling much better….or maybe I have been around the wrong people…people who yell. Today I am.healthy . I understand my Creators love for me, how He guides me gently ,silently and with unending patience and belief in me.
As I get ready to launch my first full length Christain Album I am overcome with joy. Spryte, Mary Kay, has developed into one person that lives in joy and wants to spread the Word thru my music and my testimony. The fact that I am a recovering drug addict 3 YEARS clean on May 5th….2012 is a blessing. The peace I have found in walking with my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ..The beauty in my silent time while reading the bible. I have decided to go for my ministries license and develop R & R Ministries(its a relationship NOT a religion) To minister to women thru the bible and the 12 steps of recovery which have saved my life.
Getting thru the end of the abusive relationship from last year with the man I was so deeply in love with had me in tears and doubting the grace of God. Thru good teachings from Reverend Jo Ellen Schwandt and the Leadership of Pastor Brad Liebe I am living life according to biblical principles and I couldnt be happier.
I still struggle with anger and being short with people. I swear. I still cry because I am single and wondering if God has a husband for me but then I read my bible and I am at peace in the Word.
Ephesians 5: 15 states Be very careful then how you live-not as unwise but as wise.
today I am making wise decisions one choice at a time one moment at a time..one day at a time….
love and light to you