when in doubt. . .?

11027467_10205302740620767_5000063274730125598_nWhen in doubt, let your Spirit Guide You. This is a basic tenet of my life. I walk in Spirit, I love in Spirit, I live in Spirit.


I often wonder how I came to be as happy as I am today. Being displaced wrongfully from my career in which I thrived and loved and was recently promoted at. I found myself with four weeks of spare time while I gathered my thoughts, prayed, loved my favorite and decided where Spirit would guide me. Into home ownership, running and waitressing is where I find myself. So happy.

He is playing guitar right now as I type this. I know there are dumb girls texting trying to take his time, I wish they would just stop. But I trust he will always make the right decision, always. My happiness has been a direct reflection of the growth and closeness in which we have achieved this past year. A bumpy road with lots of temptation and idiots but we have figured it out…finally.

In the moments of termination and loss of identity I pray and run or walk a lot. Recently, I have been riding horses every spare day I can and have found peace among the great animals which have commanded my heart and respect since I was a young cowgirl. Today I love my favorite, ride my horses Major and Elmo and I spend much time in walking prayer. I have to listen to Spirit an the voice of the Goddess and my angels in the face of fear and uncertainty I can not afford to be lazy or doubtful, truth will out, as the Muggles say.

I have walked the Pennsylvania mountains and found much joy and peace in the peace and stillness. Brad walks with me some days and we have no conversation or much conversation depending on the day. Either way my life is filled with quiet moments, kisses, and cuddles, along with goals and excitement for the future.

Walking walking walking I will run run run until my full marathon is done and I will check in as always in the days to come.



Peace and light


Mary Kay Spryte



I love him . . .<3 b

I believe.

I feel.

I see his love for me.

He went thru a break up.

I chased him.

He looked back at me.

He moved in to my apt.

We moved out and he bought us a house.

In a year Everything has come together better than I could have planned if I had tried to catch him. When all the time he has been a step ahead, catching me.

It’s quite beautiful this connection we have. Physically it is passionate, deep, soulful, and clear. Mentally its crisp, clean, and in tune. Spiritually its relaxing and safe. My king. My lover.

I didn’t see myself submitting to a man the way I do to him. I respect him. He is in charge. I have been humbled by him in ways I never thought I could be.

Yes I will continue..


wp-1458432968330.jpgSo I must breathe. Recently I found myself in a long vacation from work. 3 to 6 months depending on some information which needs to be provided.

I am working hard to assist my Favorite with our first home purchase and I must say there is a lot of work that goes into closing on a home. I have a new respect for the students that call in and need paperwork for their lender. This will help me be a better Escalated Representative that is for sure. I look forward to each day as I wake next to the man who has taught me patience, acceptance, unconditional support and love these past six months. We have been friends over a year but has become more serious as of October 2017. I am so happy. As my days have opened up I am helping with home sale. Reading my Bible and Steward Training book for our union at work. I am preparing myself for a strong finish to 2018 as a steward Brad and I will serve our co workers in a capacity that is void at the current time in State College office. There is a lot of good things happening in our professional and personal life.


Anxiety creeps into my mind and days…


Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints, and rumination.

I fight with support from friends. Long runs with house music. Meditation. Cuddles from my King. He is so kind and offers encouraging positive touch always-


twenty four days and we close on home…move in and begin remodel on rooms we want new floors in and setting up the yard as we like. This summer the jeep gets rebuilt and hopefully overtime is a blessing…I have high goals and ambition to complete them. As I am off work I have been writing more and a first full book will be coming in the autumn months—


be kind to one another…fight for the truth…and love always love…

in service

Mary Kay







standing strong. . .

download (5) Being accused of something you did not do is a difficult situation no matter what the allegations. When someone speaks falsely about you maintain your grace and composure. The truth will find its way to the surface in any situation. Recently I have been targeted by a person for something I did not do. I am standing strong and with truth on my side all will be well.

I have found that people look out for themselves and do not typically take into consideration the effects that their false accusations can have. I am looking at a loss of wages due to lies. I am upset and unsettled about the situation but my hands are tied until the truth is shown.

I am a positive person, I do not lie and because of my 8 plus years in Recovery I have learned how to live an honest life. The steps have given me the tools needed to live free, look the world in the eye and not be afraid or stressed about the truth.

In eight years I have gotten college degrees, fixed my credit, fallen in love with a wonderful man, maintained friendships that were healthy and gotten rid of friendships that were toxic. I will continue to move forward. I will continue to serve students at my position as a loan counselor for the Department of Education Servicer I work for. I will continue to maintain healthy relationships with friends, co workers and the love of my life.

Do not allow people to take away your truth.

Stand up for what you know to be true.

in service,

Mary Kay Spryte


exactly what is a Snatchet?

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A woman-

who is somewhere between a “snatch” and a fuckin’ “ratchet”


My best friend Tilly and I have a deep love the snatchet because they try so hard to be nice! But these dumb bitches must know their fakeness is noticed.

first let us define “ratchet” Ratchet is a slang term in hip hop that in the strictest sense refers to an uncouth female, and is a Louisianan regiolect of “wretched”.

now snatch has many meanings to snatch or grab something, it can refer to a females vagina, or in hip hop the term snatchet is a basic bitch who is one step below a ratchet.

Combining the 2 together we have a snatchet –vile disgusting women. Women who pretend to be your friend but back stab you in the same hour they try talking to you.



images (3)These type of females should be avoided at all costs…

you know they type. Some are single and some are married.

The single “snatchets” will no doubt be texting your man and trying to become a friend to any man that has another female in his life that he can depend on. Single snatchets like attention and if they can effectively come in between a happy couple have no care in the world of being said snatch. Single snatchets have lots of men they talk to because most women know enough to stay away and since men can be blinded by a pretty face, will typically be friend the snatchet or even attempt a sexual relationship with the bitch.

The married “snatchets” are typically nosy bitches who watch all the neighbors, or sleep around on their husband because they feel he deserves it for that one time he pissed them off back in the day. Married snatchets can be very disturbing if they feel the need to be do gooders. These women will be despised by colleagues and most of these womens children will stop speaking to them soon after they become adults. Snatchets cause problems among healthy women due to their lack of transparency and honesty in dealing with other women.

Snatchets can be avoided simply by not interacting with them.

I Have recently encountered a few snatchets and it is disheartening. I maintain professional courtesy when needed and I smile and offer advice when asked but these women are best left alone.




whatif you get? what if don’t?

blog1what if you got what you wanted. .  what if did not?

I have the life I want.

But at one time I did not.

I have the partner I want, the best friend.

For a long time I did not.

So what do you want? I mean if you go to work every day and are miserable then quit for gods sake, and all the people around you.

Change the situation in your world which does not bring you joy.

You will be happier once you start clearing the things you do not like and allowing the things you love replace them.


I noticed people who called when my gramma died and those who did not. Even more who came to the funeral and who did not.

Friends…fine line between what is and what is not. isn’t it?

I am going through therapy for a violent rape that I endured in my teens. I am working through it slowly-with grace. I am also not going to college during this time and seeking to work overtime to pay off all credit cards and medical bills in 18 months.

I have cut people out of my life for gossip and poor moral character. I am going to surround myself with self. love. favorite. family. and nature.


Growing a garden this year at new home is on the list of peaceful endeavours and I am nervous. I have never had my own garden to grow vegetables in… Love has made my world change and I will maintain my goals though this love—and grace.

I was told I tell my goals to much and I do. I want things to manifest in my life and I want to be moved by Spirit. Sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I am overcoming past fears past aches and issues within the mind which are not real.

With having what you want then you must release what you do not want. Do not stay in a friendship or relationship because its easy or convenient…get out. let better come in. Be aware.

Be present.


in service,

mary kay spryte




financial responsibility—

moneyRecently I sat down and added up all my debt. Wow. I looked at income coming in and payments going out and how much if any I can save.

What a humbling and embarrassing quest.

I thought I was further paid on loans that are not nearly as paid as I thought. Also, my interest rates are much higher than I like them to be. So the next week starts a new week of working overtime- I have a 1 year and two year goal to pay off car in full, 2 credit cards and one loan. I have consulted with a financial advisor who has taken a look at my spending and now it is time to get busy busy busy paying down high interest loans-. Each check-delegated.

Guidance in matters of finance are something we should embrace.

Do not be afraid of your debt or your income coming in–

just make smart choices and earn earn earn.

Be smart.

Skip the extra coffee at dunkin and starbucks. Walk or bike to store or work— Save here and there.

watch the savings add up and have all the items you desire.

I was blessed with success early on in life that caused me to give to friends without any worry of savings- well friends have gone and not paid back—to the tune of thousands of dollars. My choices with higher income earned during my party days only had me spending more. If I profited 4 grand in a weekend then I had that much to spend the next week. I thought it was never ending. Oh the poor choices we make in our youth.

Hell Justin Speese owes me $2200 for a sprint phone him and his girlfriend ran up in my name in 3 months time. I have invested in businesses, lawyers, babysitters, property taxes, and overall fun for friends who have not paid back. I am guessing the total to be over 20k. and-



Money can always be earned…

work- determination-optimism and good choices is what is needed,

this humble life lesson comes after the parental unit Janet took from me all I was…in dollars…but not in Spirit-

You see I am young and healthy and ambitious. I get knocked out and I wake up—burn and fly the phoenix in her most rawest form, look up here I go.

I mean just look at the Hell I have been through—still standing. and now I turn a corner one of full disclosure to another human—scary—intermingled—open—into me he sees—man has my number–trust has been earned and reciprocated and all is well. now I just need to be patient–and trust the process-

phrases told to me –lessons learned

Game plan or goal plan moving forward–good choices.

I have noone to blame but ,myself for lack of savings, I trusted the wrong people, I spent frivolously when I was making more I spent more. I did not keep my money safe.

Tank has gone and the life lessons my adopted father taught me have rung loudly in my ears the last two days as I looked over my financials. He was big on stacking money but always having the nicest things. A challenge if the income does not match your taste. I have been spoiled lately and I have not had to want for anything. Recovery suits me well.

My gratitude speaks when I share—and today I was taught in the kindest and most loving way that my financials need to be looked at and doubled down on. no more giving money to friends and no more co signing loans for friends to bail them out. If a cars friend breaks I have a mechanic friend now in PA who is amazing. If someone needs gas in their car I wont give them cash Ill follow them to gas station and fill the car up for them.  Lessons learned.

Who knew this lesson would be so wonderful–financial freedom —next chapter- horses? house? swim spa? vacations with favorite? music?




dear grams,


My dearest grams, be well in your new being—

I thank you for all the camping trips, and teaching me how to cut vegetables. thank you for your love of reading and encouraging me to sing and write and rhyme.

Thank  you for always listening to my hip hop music even though you did not agree with some of my messages. i NEED you more than you know. Your words of wisdom and tough criticism has formed me into the strong beautiful woman who is typing this.

thank you 

I understand you had to go your body was tired and your spirit needed to be free…in energy you are one with our Creator, have you sat with the Messiah. Have you seen your loved ones that have walked this path before you? Do you miss earth? I am sure grampa is heavy in your Spirit and he waits to be with you. I love you grams

I am sorry for being a bad granddaughter in my early years of drug addiction but I am so grateful you got to see me get clean and stay that way. I love you—

I am well cared for as you know. I am loved here in Pennsylvania. I am a servant daily and get to help students navigate student loans and you know how much I love my position. I am going to miss our phone conversations. 20 to 45 minutes sometimes 5 minutes just to say I love you gramma…you laughed.

Ill miss praying over the phone with you==yahushua messiah holds you close..you ARE IN SPIRIT now my dear sweet grams—


when death comes calling. . .

I faced death at age 12.. . again at 15, , ,19 years old and 28. And now my grams is getting ready to dine with Him. I have so many emotions because of all the people I would have to say good bye to Gramma Audrey is the one good bye I can not imagine,


images (1).jpg I understand the process I must go through to grieve. But the sorrow is so great I can hardly breathe when I think of not being able to call her, hug her, smell her. I know the only reason we grieve when someone dies is our own selfishness—thinking they deserve to be with us more than God? am i that self centered to think she should live longer, just so I can have my gramma?

I have lived my life without a mother who has supported me and that is where Gramma filled in.

Stepped up.

Loved me..

How do I let go of the only person who has every truly seen me for me? How do I FILL THE VOID ? of my grams?

See there is that selfishness. . .like I am not going to be okay? I always heal. .  I always move forward and I always persevere. images (2).jpg So Death is coming for gramma and once again I prepare to meet Him.

Unlike the tragedy of Death that comes in without warning, this time I know He is waiting…

I love my gramma and I am going to miss her so much.





in moments of addiction, moments of recovery

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In moments of addiction I was focused on the next high.

In moments in recovery I am focused on the moment.

In moments of addiction I was focused on getting more, finding more, locating more.

In moments of recovery I am focused on the now.

Living in gratitude and in the moment is a strength that has grown within me over the last years 9 years of recovery. I started smoking cigarettes this last year and I am eager to quit. I also found my equal, my favorite person my teacher at the end of 2016.

My life is so full.

In addiction I was selfish and self centered.

In Recovery I give and love with eyes wide open and with gratitude.

I am grateful I have lunches to pack, laundry to do, dishes to clean, and bills to pay.

In addiction I ran from society. I hid.

In Recovery I serve. I live.


In Service